Are you really ready to change?

APRIL 2024

Subscriber First Name,

Sometimes, it can feel like you’re making big changes, when in reality, even though it feels like you’re doing something “different,” it’s actually producing the same result.

For instance, tweaking activities in your daily routine or switching up the times you do something can definitely refresh the monotony and make you feel like you’re doing something different. However, at the end of the day, if you still feel the same and the same outcomes keep happening, you’re not really doing anything different.

Don’t get me wrong. These small changes are valid. They’re wonderful. They can remind you of how adaptable and capable you really are. They can also be great adjustments to improve ease in a situation you’re in that you want to be in.

What I am saying, however, is that those types of small changes are like dipping your toe in the water. Sure, you can hold a drink in one hand on one day and the next day you can dip a different toe. That does change things up a little. But, if you want to swim to the other side of the pool, or lake, or even ocean (have you watched Nyad on Netflix lately?), you actually have to jump in and start swimming.

You have to get really comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

You have to trust that even though you can’t see the other side of the [insert your favorite body of water here], that you will get there.

And, you have to know deep within your being that what’s on the other side, even if you can’t see it yet, is worth the swim—that it’ll be better than what’s on your current shoreline.

You’ve been standing on your current shoreline for years. Maybe your whole life. You know what’s on that side.

Maybe knowing is more important. Maybe it’s not.

You’ll know when it’s time to jump in and stop dipping your toes when the bad outweighs the good, or when what you’re holding while you dip your toes becomes heavier than what you can bear to carry.

As a coach, I have to be able to discern between when you’re just dipping your toes and when you’re actually ready to jump in and swim. That helps me know if coaching is a good fit for you and helps me determine when it’s not, even if it was at some point.

Sometimes, I have clients who get to the other side of the pool, or lake, or ocean! Sometimes, I have clients who get mostly to the other side and decide they’re ready to swim on their own. I also have clients who jump in, swim, take a detour to grab onto a pool side or floating branch, they stay there for a minute to catch their breath, and then they ultimately keep swimming. And at other times, I also have clients who jump in and then decide to swim back to their current shoreline.

And that’s totally okay. Each of these paths are valid. Healing is like that. But, if you decide to take an extended stay on your known shoreline (that isn’t working for you) instead of trying again, that’s when therapy might be a better modality for you than coaching.

Coaching is about movement toward your goals. There’s a lot of movement involved in healing trauma, too. I guide you through your movement to the other shoreline. A therapist can help actually get you moving in the first place.

Change is inevitable, whether we embrace it or not, regardless of which shoreline we’re on.

Choosing what change you want (to the extent of what’s within your control) exercises your will. Then, embracing the change makes the swim easier and smoother. Ya know, going with the flow requires huge amounts of adaptability, trust, and surrender, which can be hard, but makes the swim smoother. Whereas resisting change that will inevitably come makes it so that when your known shoreline moves and you’re forced to swim, the swim is rougher, more exhausting, and potentially more treacherous.

Again, each path is valid—there are lessons to be learned either way. Your soul knows which lessons you need. The beauty in it is that you get to choose which path you take.

And, healing can also be found in exercising your agency in that way, if you choose to look at it that way.

Journal Prompts

Which shoreline would you rather be on?
If you want to get to the other side, what would you need to do to let go and start swimming?

Subscriber Q&A

Q: How do I let something go?

A: I really took the shoreline metaphor above to the limit, lol. But, another part of swimming to the other side to really change your life involves being able to let go of the shoreline you’re on. That’s why the topic of letting go comes up for literally almost all of my clients at one point or another.

So, let’s try a little exercise that’s really accessible to demonstrate letting go.

What’s near you right now? Is something in your hand right at this moment? If not, pick something up.

Notice its characteristics. What does it feel like in your hand? What do you appreciate about it, if anything? What does it do for you?

Now, set it down.

It’s no longer in your hand. You loosened your grip and let it go.

Take it a step further and walk away from it. Now, you’ve let go a little more.

And, if the item you chose actually serves no real purpose and you just realized you don’t appreciate it, either throw it away or donate it. If it does serve a purpose, leave it where it’s at and come back later when you need it.

You see, there are different levels of letting go depending on what you’re letting go of and it’s role in your life.

And, if what you picked up was spikey or scalding hot and it hurt to hold it, wouldn’t you have dropped it faster than if it were cool to the touch and smooth?

Now, how can you apply this to your specific life, even if what you’re trying to let go of is not a physical object?

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On a personal note, I’m excited about the solar eclipse that’s happening on April 8. Will you be watching (with eclipse glasses or an eclipse viewer for safety, of course)? My fam and I haven’t made our viewing plans yet, but will figure it out soon.

As always, I love you, honor you, and respect you. Sending so much love your way!

See you in your inbox next month. And remember, I’m here if you need me.

Peace out,

P.S. As mentioned last month, I’m rebooting my Human Amplified podcast. If you’d like to be a guest or know someone who’d be a great fit, feel free to let me know :). Otherwise, check it out and please subscribe!

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This email is intended for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy or medical advice. I am a coach and educator. I am not a licensed medical professional.